By Alina Qureshy

My family loves a phantom

They love the quiet me, the

Gentle me, the studious me

They love the girl who’s charming

And happy and has never known a sad day

I am a cracked gem,

A shattered pearl. THey

Love the shiny facets;

But they have never seen the cracks

Underneath, the shine of the

medicine cabinet mirror.

My mother has never seen me

Be truly, freely happy, in the

Way that you’re happy after

A long night spent with friends

She has never seen the way

My faces flushes after meeting

The gaze of a certain someone

From across the room.

It is a strange thing to realize

That the woman who gave birth

To you, does not know you.

And that the people you

Spend all your time with,

Only know a part of you

My friends have never seen me

Speak my own language, i’ve

Been shoving down the syllables

For as long as I can remember.

In a sea of languages more common

Than mine, I am silent.

They’ve never seen me

Wear my culture either,

Always too shy to wear my

Traditions on my body

For everyone to see

I’m a girl of many parts,

A jacket of many colors,

Made of contradictions,

Born of juxtaposition.

My life has been spent

Partitioning my two lives, making

Sure they don’t see the sides

Of me that i keep under wraps,

Hidden in plain sight.

Making sure they all only see

the parts of me that are dust free,

the cheerful facade, the shiny pearl,

hoping they don’t notice the burnt

and reeking ruins, the damaged bits

hidden under dusty sheets; my ghosts.

But they are, after all, my ghosts,

Piece and part of who am I?

Puzzles piecing together my mystery.

Cracked, yes, but patched back together

with little self sewn stitches.

I throw off the white sheets, and

Embrace all of me.

She will meet you halfway as she will love you with all of her heart. She loved and loved until she forgot that she has been taken for granted by someone who didn’t understand how to love her right.

Then her heart ends up being broken over and over again.

When the heart of a strong woman gets broken, the first thing that she will do is blame no one but herself. She won’t even blame the person who broke it. She will ask herself why she trusted that person in the first place and why she didn’t believe in her own intuition instead. She will analyze why she fell for this person and how she could ignore the very first sign of heartbreak.

She will cry her heart out at night in an effort to keep anyone from hearing her sobbing and when the morning comes, she will be the woman she used to be. She will finish all of her tasks and responsibilities like nothing happened and, “I’m okay” will be her automatic reply for everyone who asks her.

When she’s ready, she will begin to talk about her pain to one or two of her loved ones. She won’t share her pain with everyone because she’s not an attention seeker and she knows that she will be alright sooner or later.

When her heart gets broken, don’t ever think that she will ask someone else to fix it; she knows it could only be fixed by no one but her.

As she starts to heal and get up once again, she will try to see the bright side one step at a time. Although it’s difficult, she will turn her pain into something more meaningful to her life as she starts to write, paint, read, exercise, or help others instead of mourning her loss.

She totally understands that she shouldn’t enjoy her pain and she needs to move on.

She will make her pain as her main fuel to achieving her goals and pursuing her deepest passion. She won’t have any intention to seek revenge as she believes that karma exists.

When a strong woman gets broken-hearted, she will look for life lessons instead of drama.

She will try her best to forgive the person who broke her heart, but she won’t ever forget what they’ve done to her. Her heartbreak will make her understand more about her own needs and expectations when it comes to loving someone.

One thing is for sure: a strong woman won’t go back to the person who broke her heart because she understands that she can’t get happiness from the same place she lost it.

But, when a strong woman gets broken hearted, it will be so difficult for her to forgive herself as she never stops blaming herself for her own mistakes. For giving her heart to the wrong person and for believing in an illusion of someone instead of the reality. It will take a long time for her to accept the fact that she has made a huge mistake in her life.

She will be scared to fall in love and trust again. She will build her walls up again and it will be a long time before she will open up and be vulnerable and open to the idea of of falling in love.

But, a strong woman completely understands that she can’t be scared forever and she knows that love will always be accompanied by the risk of being broken.

Thus, she will forgive herself little by little and eventually opens up her heart for the next person who’ll come along.

When a strong woman gets broken-hearted, instead of it making her any weaker, it makes her stronger than she could ever imagine.

Sixty degrees that comes in threes
Watches from within birch trees
Saw his own dimension burn
Misses home and can’t return

Says he’s happy he’s a liar
Blame the arson for the fire
If he wants to shirk the blame
He’ll have to invoke my name

One way to absolve his crime
A different form, a different time
When all is set and done
All humans and animals may run

The deception is in their eyes
Anyone can see through their lies
I want to forgive and forget
But I can’t live with the regret

He fakes a disguise
Once you shake his hand he dies
He conjures red flames
Even with the beast he tames

It’s been hard living in his soul
But nobody lives for long
Some are right, some are wrong
His life is written in a scroll

With every tear that drops at night
My thoughts start to take flight
The actions that haunt him
His soul gets a little more dim

No matter what life throws at me
I’ll always have the choice to push through
Without that one person by our side
All we do is get sucked into the void

Depression Lingers into my inner self

Complicated
Every “I love you” It didn’t mean anything
Every “I’m sorry” That was a lie
Every Kiss that pushed us away

The one person I would give everything for but what..
Just so I could end up broken like my soul has left its place to wander the afterlife

Our love was meant to last not crash and burn as if it was in a car wreck..

Maybe for once the person would finally give a mile not an inch.

You walk around now like what we had was nothing
Like most people say “It wasn’t meant to be”

My heart has broken to point of no coming back,no glue will mend this heart back to its original way of love.
I hope you know how much this relationship affected me but you’ll never know because you were too BLIND to see it!

The following poems were not in the print edition.

White 
by Frank Cabrera

I’m always being told
that I act different from other Hispanics,
that when I speak Spanish
I say words like a gringo.
All my life all I knew was America’s holidays
not Ecuador’s.
Something never felt right,
like having this
Ache in your neck,
always there to remind you
that something was wrong.
That everything I did was too white or too Hispanic.
That my skin color makes me different from my peers
and that I should be shut out of my parent’s traditional views.
You pushed these ideas of America so far down my throat,
that now 14 years later I know the pledge of Allegiance by heart.
I always felt like I was an outsider when I grew up speaking Spanglish
and having to be go to ESL
because my English wasn’t as good as the others
like everyone knew my terrible secret that I couldn’t hold no longer
because everywhere I went it always got out,
but also that I had to walk home
while others were picked up by their parents
while mine were working hard to make sure i had everything I wanted.
14 years later now in my Hispanic house,
I am still an outsider
not knowing my native tongue or not liking any food that my grandmas cooked
made me feel like I was falling down an endless pit
that only stopped to bring me pain.
Even now I see the comments made from my peers,
they know where I’m from, they notice the way I talk.
I no longer can hold my secret. It’s out there for the world to know.

It’s all beautiful to me
by Jason Valtierra

It’s all beautiful to me
Call your brothers magnificent,
call all the sisters queens
We all on the same team,
but many follow the cash
and don’t follow their dreams

And if you failed to achieve
and lowered your self esteem
at least you gave it a shot.
Excuse me while I Tupac,
Keep your head up, when did you stop?

When did the racism blur your vision
Being dark don’t make you stupid
You made some mistakes
but that’s what makes us human
Be successful and leave them clueless
Wondering how you made it
if you were wounded

All of the cards they take for granted
just use them to your advantage
let them watch you blow up like a cannon

I’ll Never Forget About Us
by Joshua Serralde

Oh how i miss that sweet baby face
That’d i race to every moment i glanced at you
Your aura was made of stars & galaxies that made my mind
completely stuck on you and your electrifying kisses

Oh how i’d always wait for you at the end of the day just to
hold your hand one last time each day and remind you how much
i acknowledged your presence around me and how much you make
me explode with every fiber in my body

God i’m so in love with you i can write an endless song with a
heart throbbing melody in the background playing as i think of the times
you stole my heart.

Oh how much you mean to me.
I Love You.

I will be here
by Angel Chavez

If in the morning when you wake,
If the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
I will be here.

I will be here,
When you feel like being quiet,
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen.
Through the winning, losing,
and trying we’ll be together,
And I will be here.
If in the morning when you wake,
If the future is unclear,
I will be here.
As sure as seasons were made for change,
Our lifetimes were made for years,
I will be here.

I will be here,
And you can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us we’re older.
I will hold you,
to watch you grow in beauty,
And tell you all the things you are to me.
We’ll be together and I will be here.
I will be true to the promises I’ve made,
To you and to the one who gave you to me.
I will be here.

Christmas
by Isaura Hernandez

Christmas is a time you spend with family
And experience great joy
But what is family? And what is joy?
You look at a house but all you see
Is the family laughing and cheering
What if the father was an abuser??
And hurt the mother and kids?
That’s not what you’ll see.

You’ll see them smiling and having fun,
But deep down the mother wants to leave the father,
And the father wants to keep
All of them locked in that house.
The kids want to escape
But there isn’t a way.

And all those lies that have been given away, what are they good for?
The lies the father told the mother.
He’ll care, sure but he doesn’t.

You’ll never see the true sides of a family especially in Christmas.

You’ll see the decorations, which may i add, the mother spent 10 hours putting up.
You’ll see their smiles when you go to their Christmas party but you cant see how the father has been pinching the mother’s back.
The mother’s all bundled up, hiding those scars and bruises that were given to her.

The children fake a smile, knowing that if they made a mistake they’ll be gone from the party for a while.

The father stands tall, all dressed up in a nice suit, that the mother was forced to send to the dry cleaners.

He seems conceded,
Trying to hide the fact that he cheated, but he needn’t worry cause the mother already knows.
Under that suit he hides a big scratch from which he needed stitches.
Under that smile he hides, all those days he spent beating them.
And beneath that nice caring face hides a demon from which he listened to, and made his family’s life a living hell.
But his supposedly “nice eyes” blind those people from asking questions, and
Undoubtedly a cop that had been present.

It’s been like that every Christmas, and every party they’re ever invited to.
The mother’s always praying for her children not to make a mistake, uncaring for her own health.
While the children each pray their mother doesn’t make a mistake, so that if anything happens to them their mother will hopefully be okay.
The father doesn’t pray at all, for he has no beliefs other than the one hekeeps in his mind that he’s powerful

He’s uncaring for his own health because he knows the mother won’t do anything.
The mother’s family is present and they’re each blinded by the father’s character.
He flashes smile after smile, and the parents become hypnotized by the father’s charm.
His eyes hold them in a portal from which stops them from knowing
what really happens to their daughter and their grandchildren.

Christmas for them isn’t about joy or happiness,
it’s about caring for each other, leaving the one that doesn’t care behind.
In Christmas no one ever knows a family’s true side.

Why Do I Love You?
by Angel Chavez

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For ignoring the possibilities
Of the fool in me
And for laying firm hold
Of the possibilities for good.

Why do I love you?

I love you
For closing your eyes
To the discords –
And for adding to the music in me
By worshipful listening.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
And out of the words
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a word,
Without a touch,
Without a sign.
You have done it
Just by being yourself.

After all
Perhaps that is what
Love means.

Forever waiting
by Tyler Graves

The city starts to fade into the setting sun
As I turn my back and walk the lonely road
I felt your hand slip through my fingers once again
And what was left was just a momentary warmth
Every time I felt your touch, it would seep into my heart

If I could hold you for a little longer
And the lingering scent as you whispered in my ear
Would fade forever in the vivid sky
I hear the sound of your voice, I hear it echo inside my dreams

Turning into memories as they start to fall away
And the tears that I cry, washed away by the rain
I promise this is where I’ll be
Waiting for you

Without a sound the days are slowly passing by
And the night is like a story without an end
The only light that shines upon the quiet world
Are the stars and they will lead me back to you
As I find another piece of a memory inside
As the story grows a little longer
And the look on your face as you waved your hand goodbye

Would fade forever in the darkened sky
I drown inside these memories, I feel them fall from the sky above

Washing everything away and staining me in gray
But I will stand in the rain, until I know that I’ve found you

This is where I’ll always be

I hear the sound of your voice, I hear it echo inside my dreams
Turning into memories as they start to fall away
And the tears that I cry, soon remind me of you touch, as I look to the sky, I think to myself , this is where I will always be, waiting for you

Resolve
by Tyler Graves

Even if the percentage can’t even change the orbit
If there’s as less as even one per cent shouldn’t I obviously resist?
After all, it was thrown to me as “fate” but, no I won’t!
I’ll turn it around, because if I could see the future with you wouldn’t it be great?

Bring it on! Cause I’m just gonna grow up in the battle. I’ll push through the cloudy sky
Still burning my fire the thunder slashes the sky I gotta drown out the nightmare I just want to see the future!

Past, Future, and the Now we live in, I ain’t scared of my past and now for the entrusted past
Screaming out for my pride!

I don’t want to see tears, so I’ll keep screaming! All the way…
I’m never falling down! With the tail wind behind me I’ll blow away Destiny
Because I want to protect this smile at my back! All the way…
I gotta shake off pain for you and me! let the sadness rest in peace

No matter how many times…

Even if in the corner of my heart I pound the wall saying “It’s hard”
No matter what percent, I probably won’t turn back anymore
Even if the rain of reason starts to fall All I know!
I won’t get lost because in tomorrow I have a dream that I want to fulfill with you

We’ll clad ourselves in dawn and counterattack soldiers follow me now. Don’t you ever stop! We pay it back in spades right!
Play back the perverse nature! I’ll live this moment without sorrow
Struggle, sorrow, They’ll disappear like bubbles but no one can blow out the candle in my heart
Screaming out for your pride

We gotta stand up and go with the pride  It’s like the sun rising way over the clouds

I’ll burn my heart, and keep lighting it up All the way…

Nobody can blow out my fire can’t erase! I’ll overcome the grey world So that I won’t hesitate, so that I wont lose sight
All the way…
Don’t blind your eyes, if you’re lost on the way! I don’t care I’m gonna be your light
So take my hand