The following is a transcription of Hannibal Buress’ speech to the graduates. To best appreciate it, watch the graduation video. His timing, inflections, expressions and laughter are part of the reason why the New York Times says he is one of the most “supremely gifted and respected” comics around.

See student introduction of Hannibal Buress, which ended with Ashley Komperda’s presentation of an award to Hannibal she and Alejandro Hernandez created: “In recognition for being the funniest and most successful alum to graduate from our school.”

Thanks a lot. I think Hugh Hefner would have something to say about that.

Excited to be here, even though you took some of my material. That’s what I was going to say: “Do anything if you get passionate. I had a 1.9 GPA.”

It’s good to be here. The school is way nicer than it was when I was here. It’s very nice. Way more people got scholarships. This is a better, this is a smarter class than my class. In my class there were two scholarships and both of them were to Wright College.

I remember the first day that I walked into this building. It was the day after I got kicked out of Whitney Young. They say, “You live in this area, you go to Steinmetz.” They sent a letter saying, “You go to Steinmetz.” I didn’t pick it. It’s a nice place. I enjoyed my time here.

I was honored when the students asked me and Mr. Ngo reached out about me doing the speech. And one of the first things he said was, “You know the situation with the Chicago Public Schools, so we won’t be able to pay you.” I said, “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want to be paid.” Even if I was paid, Rahm Emanuel would probably figure out a way to put it on my parents’ property taxes.

Side note: How’d he get a second term? How’d he get a second term? You know why he got a second term. Here’s my theory. (I’ll get back to the speech.) I think it’s cause the other guy’s name was Chuy. Chicago wasn’t ready to have a mayor named Chuy. You could go to Waukegan with a name Chuy. But I think Chicago wasn’t ready for a Chuy. I think he should have run on his real name, Jesus. His real name is Jesus. He should have been Jesus. I’d be Jesus over Chuy. Second term you say, “Hey guys, I’m gonna tell you something. My name is Chuy.” “Alright, cool, Chuy. You did a good job.”

All right. Listen. I’m not here to give like a… I’ll be sort of motivational and sort of real. I’m not gonna be like “You can do anything you want to do.” Ah. You can do most of the things you want to do. Keep it sort of realistic. Most of us aren’t gonna be in the NBA, you know. None of us are playing for the Bulls next season. So, keep it reasonable. You can start your own company, stuff like that. You can do most of the things. That “anything stuff” that’s unrealistic and I’m not here for that at all.

Hannibal Buress speaks to the Steinmetz geraduates on June 15, 2016. Star photos by Steven Nunez.

As he said, I had a 1.9 GPA, which I didn’t even know you could graduate with.  What is that? What is a 1.9? I think I was whatever the opposite of a valedictorian was, but a solid ACT score and we went from there, man.

But yeah. What do I want to say? Congratulations. Good luck with stuff. Just cause, I know some of you were probably horrible students like I was, doesn’t mean you’ll be horrible in life. Definitely find something you’re passionate about and have fun with it and try to work hard at it and enjoy life. I’ve been doing comedy for 14 years. When I first started some people said, “You are horrible at comedy. You shouldn’t do this.” And I was like “I’m still gonna do it,” and I had a lot of fun of doing it.

And so, go forth with whatever you’re gonna do, going to college or working at Whole Foods. Some of us are gonna work at Whole Foods. Some people have to work at Whole Foods. I don’t wanna go to an empty Whole Foods. Just do it and be passionate and have fun. Listen: Donald Trump is almost president. So, really anything is possible in this world.

Good luck and congratulations on this. There’s a lot of work to do. It’s gonna be weird; you’re gonna be kind of upset when you have to pay taxes and grown up stuff like that. So, enjoy this time and enjoy this moment. And thanks a lot for having me.