Categorized | News

My family loves a phantom


By Alina Qureshy

My family loves a phantom

They love the quiet me, the

Gentle me, the studious me

They love the girl who’s charming

And happy and has never known a sad day


I am a cracked gem,

A shattered pearl. THey

Love the shiny facets;

But they have never seen the cracks

Underneath, the shine of the

medicine cabinet mirror.


My mother has never seen me

Be truly, freely happy, in the

Way that you’re happy after

A long night spent with friends


She has never seen the way

My faces flushes after meeting

The gaze of a certain someone

From across the room.


It is a strange thing to realize

That the woman who gave birth

To you, does not know you.

And that the people you

Spend all your time with,

Only know a part of you


My friends have never seen me

Speak my own language, i’ve

Been shoving down the syllables

For as long as I can remember.

In a sea of languages more common

Than mine, I am silent.


They’ve never seen me

Wear my culture either,

Always too shy to wear my

Traditions on my body

For everyone to see


I’m a girl of many parts,

A jacket of many colors,

Made of contradictions,

Born of juxtaposition.


My life has been spent

Partitioning my two lives, making

Sure they don’t see the sides

Of me that i keep under wraps,

Hidden in plain sight.


Making sure they all only see

the parts of me that are dust free,

the cheerful facade, the shiny pearl,

hoping they don’t notice the burnt

and reeking ruins, the damaged bits

hidden under dusty sheets; my ghosts.


But they are, after all, my ghosts,

Piece and part of who am I?

Puzzles piecing together my mystery.

Cracked, yes, but patched back together

with little self sewn stitches.


I throw off the white sheets, and

Embrace all of me.








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